girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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