The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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