My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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