so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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