she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
