every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She's the barista slut.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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