I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I've blown a few things in my day
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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