no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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