Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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