no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I CAN MOONWALK!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
try to milk me bitch
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