lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
