He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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