a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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