Having a random hookup so left but love u
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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