then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
