I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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