Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
