is your mom at the bar?
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
two words: eviction party
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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