Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
