I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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