fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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