Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
