Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
