omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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