I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize