She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize