He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
