so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
