My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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