Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It was confusing and full of hummus
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Houston, we have a squirter
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
