Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
