3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Is it penis luge time yet?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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