I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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