At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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