Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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