Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
