would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
