your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
