i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
