I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
