omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize