Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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