this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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