You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
