Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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