Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
