apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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