He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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