Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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