I'm so fucking centered right now
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
