walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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