RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
