i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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