i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
