Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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