Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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