if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
