i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
if only i could text you this smell
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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