and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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