I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
