Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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