I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
