Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
