She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
