? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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