Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
