i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
