should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
