And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
