3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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