We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
