so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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