CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
A+ Viking dick
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
